


Hard Way Home

by Finn4



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:06:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24859636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finn4/pseuds/Finn4
Summary: Part 3.Highly suggest you read Part 1 (I Hope That I Don’t Fall In Love With You) and Part 2 (Love In A Hopeless Place) but I guess you can probably catch on if you don’t!Alternate ending post Catching Fire rescue of #Katnick, so that’s my ship if you’re on it!Have a bunch of warnings since I don’t know exactly where this one will go yet. Enjoy!
Relationships: Katniss Everdeen/Finnick Odair
Comments: 47
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

Moving into the Capitol was all at once disturbing and satisfying. It was a place that was filled with horrors for both of them, especially Finnick, but yet here they were: they had survived. And they were taking over.

Johanna had already set things into motion. Knowing in her heart that Finnick would return. She had Effie and her team transform an entire wing of the mansion into the “Victor’s Center” as they had come to call it. And it wasn’t by accident. She chose what was formerly the most private section of Snow’s mansion and the only one that wouldn’t hold a plethora of bad memories for Finnick. The largest suite, at the end of the hall, went to Katniss, Finnick and Mags. It had three separate rooms and was already being outfitted with state of the art technology and security thanks to Beetee. Security that included a metal safe room that only Finnick and Katniss would have access to.

Lining the hallways were other rooms: Johanna, Beetee, Haymitch, and finally a locked down lab of sorts that had been fashioned into an apartment that would house Peeta and Annie. Close enough to not question, but with the ability to be shut off and stabilized into a prison at a moment’s notice.

The first room in the wing was reserved for Effie, who was positively glowing that all of her Victors were once again together, and she functioned like a house mother: planning meals and meetings, relaying Paylor’s input on how their living quarters would be arranged.

It was surreal to say the least.

But they didn’t have to look far to realize this wasn’t sleepaway camp: lining each of their closets were military uniforms issued under Paylor’s command, armor, weapons, and secret access to the bowels of the mansion if they should need to make a quick escape.

So while when they would be in their rooms they were free to be themselves, any time they were in the public, even just the parts of the mansion that were public, they were asked to be in uniform and function like the guard...a government of sorts. With even their matching uniforms uniting them. And they had all agreed. With one exception.

Mags didn’t have to wear shoes. 

Their first day of arrival saw Effie tearfully showing them around, assuring them that their rooms had all been swept clean of any surveillance, Beetee talking them through the security measures, Johanna showing Mags around her appointed room in the suite: including the virtual wall she could change from forest to sea to sky with the click of a remote. Finnick and Katniss were quick to make sure at least one of them had an eye on her at all times. Especially until she was as familiar with her surroundings as she was in District 12....which they knew for her, wouldn’t take long.

Paylor greeted them midway through the tour Effie had arranged, and it annoyed her to be thrown off schedule. But Paylor’s greeting was warm and thick with gratitude.

“I am so incredibly grateful to you all...to your family...for offering again to serve this new Capitol. A Capitol that only exists because of your collective sacrifice. Even just having you here has changed the temperature. I truly believe it will be the guiding force in ending any resurgence once and for all.”

She had tears in her eyes as she spoke, this incredibly strong woman, moved to tears by the idea that this rag tag group of survivors was going to try save the world she cared so deeply for.

“We’d like to start by holding a gathering in the plaza. A chance for a speech. To let the people know that there is a shift in government. This is what the people have wanted since Snow’s arrest, so it will be a celebration of sorts. But a chance for one...or both of you...to address all of Panem. To encourage peace. To let people know to be alert. We can discuss this further of course.”

“The Capitol’s first family....”, and suddenly another familiar voice floats into the air from behind Paylor. Plutarch. The same jovial gamemaker’s voice. Already poised to create the new image of Panem.

“It will truly be something, won’t it? Their favorite Trident wielding tribute...the Mockingjay...and their beautiful daughter. I mean, you couldn’t have written this better...”

Even if it comes from a good place, his attitude towards the glossy finish of propoganda always made the room feel uneasy.

“Hello, Plutarch.” Katniss offered, mostly mocking him for not even saying hello before launching into how to best use them all. 

“I don’t want Mags to be a part of this. Not yet. Not till we know what we are really dealing with.” Finnick interjected, equally unimpressed by the idea of being used so blatantly.

“We can protect her Finnick. You have my word.” Beetee added, making Finnick wonder whose side he was on.

“We can let you settle in. We’ll meet for dinner tonight and perhaps we can talk about the best way to address the masses in the next few days if possible. It’s been relatively quiet. Which isn’t always a good thing.” Paylor regained control of the room.

Finnick nodded.

Effie clapped joyously.

“Yes! Dinner! At six! Wait til you see what we have prepared to welcome you back, I can hardly stand it!!” She was positively glowing. And then her eyes fell on the rest of the Victor’s entering the hallway. 

Haymitch. Annie. Peeta. 

Katniss and Finnick both bristled with every emotion they could conjure up. It had always been tense but now they were armed with the knowledge that, even if they didn’t know it, they were weapons.

Katniss moved to Peeta, who was able to stand without his cane long enough to embrace her. He scowled only slightly as she hugged him just a little too tight. And too long.

Finnick walked towards Annie, who seemed to not notice him at first, but once he whispered her name she curled into his side the was she was apt to do. He put his arm around her back and kissed the top of her head...suddenly sick over what might have happened to her while she was held here last.

He walked her to her room with Johanna’s help. Katniss encouraged Peeta to follow them, realizing he had been told he was coming along to help take care of Annie...explaining away why they were being kept together and watched so closely. Her heart broke for him. For them both. If her world was about to be rattled, at least she was in complete control of her own body and mind. 

Effie caught her attention, trimming flowers (no roses) on a nearby table. She walked behind her and gently asked to borrow her scissors. Effie hesitated so Katniss just took them.

She walked with them in her hand, like a weapon, towards Plutarch. Paylor braced uneasily. Did she mean to kill him? When she was mere feet in front of him she raised her hand. Scissors opening wide. She took her long black braid in her hand and in one swift movement, closed the scissors around it. Her signature locks falling to the ground in front of him. She ran her fingers through her suddenly shoulder length hair as Plutarch stared at the braided mess on the floor in front of him. Shocked. She dropped the scissors and shook out her hair.

“You can fuck your Mockingjay. I’m Katniss Everdeen. And I’m not just a player in your games anymore.”

He smirked an unusual grin like something had just come over him.

“Katniss...Odair. Kinda wraps the whole package up nicely, doesn’t it?”

She glared at him from under her dark brows. Smiling wickedly.

“That’s not for you to decide anymore.”

She turned from him and headed back to her room, passing Paylor who gave her a huge grin of approval, almost fighting back a chuckle at how she had just put Plutarch in his place. 

“Oh and Katniss?” Paylor called to her as she had passed. She turned to face her, and they shared a smile.

“It suits you. The hair.”

Katniss smiled broadly and continued to her room, running her fingers through it softly. Liking the way it felt. Like a literal weight was off her shoulders.

“Katniss...Odair...” she whispered it to herself, having never really thought of it before. She chuckled lowly and bit her lip. It was just hair. But it was her way of telling them both that things were different now, and they would be powerless to control either of them.


	2. Chapter 2

Katniss eased into their new room and was relieved to see it was actually....quite lovely. Plain even. Simple. With appointments that suited them both. Comfortable places to relax, a well appointed and small kitchen and dining area, a large great room with big windows (that were covered allowing only minimal sunlight in and not anything else...threatening.)

She walked to the bedrooms. Large but simple. The bathroom, sleek and elegant. And Mags’ room...adorable and delicate. She smiled thinking of the fun Effie would have had decorating it. And there was Mags asleep in the bed, with Haymitch asleep in a rocking chair beside her, hands falling at his side in a deep, peaceful sleep. She backed out and pulled the door closed behind her as she heard Finnick entering the main door. She moved back down the hallway, running her fingers through her hair and suddenly worried that he wouldn’t like it.

“Wow.” He said before she even realized he had seen her.

“You hate it.” She scoffed, almost pouting. He didn’t miss a step and continued towards her.

“No I love it,” he said, reaching her and finger the ends of it lightly as they hit her shoulder, “but mostly I like what it stands for.” 

He kissed her forehead gently and looked towards Mags’ room. 

“Is she asleep?” He nodded down the hall and Katniss nodded to agree with him.

“How’s Annie?” She asked quietly. Finnick frowned for a second and shook it off.

“She’s the same. I guess it’s just me that’s different now. Like, I keep waiting to see some sign that something isn’t right. But I just don’t. I don’t know...”

His voice was trailing off and on as he started to absentmindedly walk around their new, hopefully temporary, home. He touched furniture, looked at windows, seemed uneasy.

“What is it?” Katniss asked, sure that it wasn’t just that he was unhappy with the color scheme.

“Just feels...strange. To be back.” 

He leaned against the back of the long couch he was standing by. She knew that this place held much more for him than it did for her and she took comfort in knowing that this apartment couldn’t feel any less “Capitol grotesque” than it was. But she also knew that wasn’t going to make years of memories go away.

She moved to him and sat beside him. 

“Tell me what you are thinking. What’s going on in that mind of yours...”

Finnick turned to face her and inhaled slowly.

“I’m thinking that there are a lot of people in The Capitol that told me things they probably wish they hadn’t. And I’m wondering how many of them are still alive.”

Katniss hadn’t really thought of this. That there was a real potential that coming back to the Capitol meant surrounding himself with some of the very people that he was trying to escape, even more than Snow.

“They trusted you then, they will trust you now.” She placed her hand onto his knee and smiled, meaning it. The truth was just that: everyone trusted Finnick. Even when she wanted to kill him in the arena there was something that kept her from it. Something in him that drew her to him. And it wasn’t just her. He had that effect on everyone. That was why Snow valued him so greatly. He would be anyone’s chosen ally.

And now he was hers. And she was his.

“So what do we do? How do we start this?” He tried to introduce some brevity.

She laughed slightly, recalling Plutarch.

“Well, Plutarch thinks you should marry me...” she laughed again and tucked her hair behind her ear suddenly wishing she hadn’t mentioned it since Finnick was just staring at her. 

“Do you?” He asked quietly.

“Do I what?” She was trying not to seem uneasy, but he knew her better than that. He crooked his mouth into a a grin.

“...think I should marry you....”

Not fair, Odair, she thought.

“I think you should write a speech. If we are meeting with the rest of this council at six we should go into it with a letter written, not let Plutarch put words in our mouth.”

He nodded slyly both at the suggestion and the expert change of subject. 

Finnick went about writing a sort of...introduction. Pulling at words. Threading thoughts together. It was tedious. To try to instill a hope and peace in a city that for three years had fought a deep dark secret that was now threatening to tear that peace apart. 

Katniss had unintentionally fallen asleep with Mags and finally woke up, hours later, amazed that both Mags and Haymitch were still asleep as well. It was almost six. She struggled to get herself to her feet and gently woke Haymitch, knowing that of all of them it would take him the longest to get pull himself together.

She carried a tenderly sleeping Mags into the great room, and eyed Finnick...still writing and erasing, frustrated. 

“Hi...” she whispered as Mags stirred in her arms.

“Hi...” Finnick was relieved to see them, and to have a distraction. 

“Ready?” He asked. And, with Mags in tow, they headed to Effie’s dinner. 

The first couple of hours were actually wonderfully peaceful. The conversation light, much like the yearly celebration dinners. Mags made her way around the table, charming everyone. Sitting especially with Annie, whom she loved. But not without the watchful eyes of everyone at the table now. Knowing that at any moment Annie could become a terrible threat. 

Dessert was presented, a beautiful cake that Peeta had been working on all day. A cake with 13 layers, each decorated to represent a district. As the table set about devouring it, Finnick and Katniss began working through a presentation with Paylor. She informed them that word had already spread through The Capitol that they had returned and that even without a speech, they were planning to present them the next morning. Effie swooped in to explain that they had put together a prep team to address all of the victors, with obvious extra attention to Katniss and Finnick...

“Mags...” Effie asks, with Paylor in tow.

Finnick looked to Katniss. They tried to read each other’s faces and decide whether or not this was the best idea.

“Think about it.” Effie said before flitting down the hall. Disappearing.

Katniss and Finnick were two of the first to leave. Mags had fallen asleep on Katniss’ lap, and Finnick collected her sweetly into his arms and carried her down the hall to their rooms. After she was tucked in, Katniss moved to the bathroom. All of their belongings already been unpacked and put away for them. She set about washing her face as Finnick joined her in the doorway.

“No.” He said softly, undoing his grey uniform. 

Katniss stood up from the sink, drying her face.

“No?” 

“I don’t want to take Mags tomorrow. That’s my answer for Effie. No.”

Katniss read him and it was clear there was no changing his mind. Which was ok, because she wasn’t sure she would want to. 

Neither of them were able to get much sleep. The combination of the new bed, the new surroundings, the stress of being asked to stand before Panem, each of them taking turns checking on Mags, holding each other as they seemed to take unspoken shifts sleeping.

In the morning, the great room in their suite was bustling with activity before they even rose from bed and Finnick was immediately unnerved. The fact that anyone could access their room did not sit well with either of them.

“I want the locks changed...” he muttered half asleep at Effie as he entered the great room in nothing but pajama pants. She took in his form and made the assumption that he was annoyed because he was interrupted.

“Ohhh, Finnick, I am soooo sorry I hadn’t thought about entering in the middle of something...private.” She purred at him and he rolled his eyes.

“It’s a matter of safety, Effie. That’s all.” He corrected her even as the prep team was fussing at his hair. 

“Should I wake Katniss? That precious little Mags?” 

“No. I’ll wake Katniss. And Haymitch is keeping Mags here today.” He interrupted her firmly, and walked from her even as he saw her face painted with disappointment. He was already gone from the room as she held up two matching grey outfits...for both of his girls. 

There was a flurry of activity and Katniss and Finnick could barely make eye contact with each other as they were prepped and preened. They both had their limits: Finnick stopped a stylist from waxing his chest...while Katniss refused bright green eye liner. But soon enough they were standing in matching outfits, like chess pieces, glowing in light grey next to each other. Effie clapped and cried.

“I just...you’re so beautiful...just look at you both....”

She approached Finnick, obviously smitten with him, and fussed at the front of his hair. He scoffed, annoyed.

“Maybe I should cut mine, too” he said, not as used to Effie as the rest of them may be. Katniss smiled.

“Don’t you dare.” 

As they entered the hallway they were slowly joined by the other Victors, all wearing a version of the same grey uniforms built custom to their image. Finnick had a trident attached to his back with a strap, while Katniss sported a new grey bow and quiver of arrows.

They made a formidable team, like a band of superheroes, moving slowly down the hall and towards the balcony where they would be displayed. They could already hear the noise of the crowd gathered outside. Finnick looked around at the surviving tributes and was surprised to see Haymitch. He stopped in his tracks.

“What are you doing here...you’re supposed to be with Mags....”

“Effie offered to watch her. Paylor wanted all the Victors here.” Finnick stopped him, and made an effort to potentially turn, before Katniss stopped him.

“Effie is ok. I promise. It’s ok.”

Finnick looked at her and then back to Haymitch, conceding. 

The group assembled in a small lobby, the sound of Paylor addressing the crowd wafting in through the windows.

The crowd. It sounded huge. Massive.

“Jesus fucking Christ what is this hair, Finnick??” Johanna moved behind him and threw her hair onto the top of his head, messing up whatever work the stylist had done, “you’re not fucking Peeta Mellark. Mess that shit up. Give the people what they want.” 

Katniss fought a laugh. Truthfully he hadn’t even looked, could it have been that bad?

The crowd was shouting, calling for them as Paylor’s voice and cadence grew. Plutarch positioned them in order. Katniss and Finnick in the center, flanked in what was more than likely a specific order to him. Annie to Finnick’s left, Peeta to Katniss’ right. He instructed them all to hold hands. He turned to Annie, who stood close to him...and whispered that it was alright. Trying to convince himself as well. Suddenly the doors to the balcony flung open and there was a cheering and shouting that had to be able to be heard throughout the entire Capitol. Maybe District One, too. Paylor turned and presented them...smiling broadly and encouraging them.

They all walked together hand in hand until they reached the ledge of the balcony. They raised their hands and bowed, and people moved to let children see...to throw their hands up. They scanned the crowd and saw everything from screams to tears.

It was meant to be just a minute and it felt like hours. Finnick scanned the crowd as they all did but suddenly let his eyes fall on a man that looked familiar, but he couldn’t place it. He looked away but kept coming back to him. There was something unsettling that he couldn’t put his finger on. He stared at him, and without realizing it his hand was tightening in Katniss’ grip. She took notice.

“Finnick...”

He didn’t answer. Or move. He stared intently at this stranger he couldn’t place.

Then it happened.

_Suddenly I’m aware of someone behind me and I turn. There’s a large masked man, stroking himself through his purple pants, that match his tuft of perfectly groomed purple hair. Whatever he means to do to her I’m not gonna wait around to find out. Without even thinking I tear off of her mouth and kick my leg back hard. Clipping this piece of shit right in the throat. He falls back and I lean over her body protectively, like some kind of animal over a kill, and I fucking growl at him. ___

____

____

The man with purple hair. From his past. From his nightmares. It dawns on him just as he sees the man press a finger to his ear and whisper into his lapel.

“EVERYBODY DOWN!!! NOW!!!”

Finnick shouted as loud he could, forcing his voice to carry. And no sooner did the words exit his mouth the plaza was sent into absolute chaos.


	3. Chapter 3

The sky was falling.

Whether it was or not that was what it felt like. There was gun fire, screaming, bodies being thrown on purpose or in injury...in seconds the entire plaza, from the balcony to the crowd below, was unrecognizable. 

Finnick had hit the ground, pushing Annie down firmly with his left arm and then keeping her down with his leg, throwing himself over Katniss. As soon as his ear stopped ringing he fought to assess what in the hell was happening.

“I’ve got her, Finnick!!” It was Johanna. Shouting at him and pulling Annie with her under a concert over hand just off the side of the balcony. She had also produced an axe and was wielding it over her head.

Finnick watched them bear crawl away, Annie screaming at the top of her lungs and covering her ears. He turned back to Katniss, folded under him in fetal position. 

“Are you alright??” He yelled at her to be heard over the crowd as he pulled his trident off his back. It was small, clearly meant for decoration and not battle, but it would do the trick. 

“I’m ok, you?” She reached up and touched blood from a scratch on his cheek, he nodded yes as she asked him, “how did you know??”

“Are your eyes ok? Can you use that bow?” He shouted and she struggled to hear him, knowing he was worried a blow to the concrete ground might have shaken up her vision.

“I’m..I think I’m fine.” She answered, already drawing her bow.

“Front row. Tall. Black suit, purple hat. Do it fast.” Finnick shouted at her as she rolled from under him. He eyed Haymitch trying to get to his feet.

“Haymitch! Go! Mags. Get her in the safe room! Now!” 

Just like in the arena there was no way to keep track of everyone...just to hope that everyone had been smart enough to figure out how to stay safe. 

Katniss flew to one knee and was taking cover behind the concrete of the balcony, peering through the openings in the patterns.

Purple hat...purple hat...purple hat....nothing. 

Black coat....tons of them...

But then she spotted him. Unusually alert in the sea of swarming bodies, taking to himself with a hand covering his ear. Just in case she was wrong, she opted not to kill him but swiftly pulled her arrow back and released it into his leg. Hobbling him.

His large body fell immediately, taking several others out on the way down. She looked for Finnick but he’d been swallowed up in the chaos. She decided to track the man herself. She bear crawled into the mansion and grabbed the attention of two armed guards.

“Follow me!” She shouted to them and took off running down the hall, pulling another arrow, prepared to let it fly at a moment’s notice. 

Finnick was still on the balcony, crawling through blood and trying to figure out where it’s coming from. He eyed Peeta, crushed beneath the weight of a guard who was shot. He’s calling for help.

Finnick wriggled through the congested sea of moving feet, taking a couple strong blows to his back as he reached Peeta. His back. He suddenly became aware that it’s seething pain. The guard on Peeta’s legs was heavy. And dead weight. Finnick was able to roll him off to the side and free Peeta, pulling the already weak Victor on the ground between his legs, dragging him into the building. 

Just inside the door there were guards and soldiers perched and firing, and he managed to be loud enough to order one of them to take Peeta to safety. Finnick hunched in the doorway assessing the remaining damage on the balcony. Johanna had dragged Annie through the door, Finnick could still hear her screams. Beetee was covered by some guards, trapped in the corner of the balcony. The gunfire had seemed to stop. He noticed several soldiers shooting at rooftops and assumed they had spotted a sniper there. 

He noticed the pool of blood on the floor, scattered as it was by footprints, growing. That’s when he saw her feet.

Paylor. 

Finnick scurried as low as he could manage until he was beside her. Her hand clutching her rib cage. She shook her head no, silently asking him to get to safety and not try to help her. He lifted her hand and saw not one but two gushing holes in her abdomen and side. He knew it was too much blood. Probably her liver. 

Fuck.

He thread his arm under her and with a heavy heave lifted her off the ground and into his arms. They both groaned and screamed out as they moved. She was already collapsing in his arms and he was begging her to keep her eyes open.

He shouted at a soldier to direct him to medical staff and two of them led him into a back staircase that revealed an elevator.

The remaining guards pulled the other Victors to safety and bolted the doors as an alarm sounded outside.

In the elevator, Paylor was losing ground quickly. 

“Stay with me, Commander. Almost there.” Finnick was soaked through with her blood. Pressing his body into hers hoping it was acting as enough pressure to slow the bleeding. One of the soldiers shouted orders to prepare a table into his radio. Finnick shook her to keep her awake as he felt her growing heavy in his arms.

“It’s Commander Paylor.” The soldier shouted as the elevator opened to reveal a large medical facility. They were deep underground. Finnick carried her to a table where she was immediately surrounded and undressed, then he collapsed under the pressure of his own back.

“Finnick!” Katniss screamed as she entered the lab from another elevator. She ran to him, screaming his name as she saw him, covered in blood. Clothes and hands...soaked.

He was fighting back a choked sob: from his back and the realization that he didn’t think there would be much they could do to save Paylor. Katniss turned to see her laying on the table. Bleeding out.

“No....” she whispered.

Paylor was calling to Finnick. He moved to her side and took her hand. She pulled it into her shaky form, whispering something into his ear before the movement in her body ceased and she dropped his hand, her own falling lifeless at her side.

One of the lab workers called a time of death and the room froze in time. Katniss couldn’t take her eyes off of Finnick.

“The blood...I thought it....was yours.” 

He pulled her into his side as they caught their collective breath. The soldiers were still flanking them as the room fell silent.

“We’ve got the arrow suspect in detention for interrogation.”

The words echoed through the cold, metal room from the radios of several armed guards. 

“Did you shoot him? The man in purple...”  
Finnick asked with the sound of desperation.

“In the leg, he’s crippled...but alive.”

“Where is he?” Finnick turned on the guard, almost forgetting that Katniss was even there. His voice was dark. He didn’t sound like himself. The guards led Finnick down an underground corridor. Katniss trailed behind and suddenly found herself short of breath. She leaned against the side of the wall, momentarily unable to stand. Her heart raced. Her words wouldn’t come.

It’s the tunnels.

She was suffocating. The images of the mine collapse. The loss of her father. The last time she was contained underground. She was in a panic and he was too far ahead to see it.

The guards led Finnick around a corner. Johanna stood outside the door with several guards. The man Katniss had shot was strapped into a chair in the middle of an otherwise empty room. His leg was still bleeding from the arrow lodged in it.

Finnick looked through the window of the door and recognized him immediately. Without a word to anyone, asking permission or otherwise, he flung the door open and entered the room, walking straight to the man in the chair. 

Finnick took him by the top of his hair, eliciting an immediate scream as he met his mouth with his fist. Finnick’s punch landed so hard that the man fell backward in his chair onto his back. But Finnick didn’t slow down. He crawled over him and began punching at his face. Pummeling him from either side, crushing his head until he was so bloodied he was almost unrecognizable.

“Fuck Finnick!” Johanna ran into the room behind him, “we need him alive!”

But Finnick didn’t listen. He continued his assault on the stranger’s face and upper body, filled with rage as his mind raced of images of that night...this creature that cheered and worse the when he and Katniss had been brought in.

“Finnick! Stop! Where’s Katniss?!” Johanna was shouting and finally some guards entered the room. 

Finnick reached behind him and pulled at the arrow in his leg, twisting it roughly as he pulled it from his leg. The man bellowed in pain. The guards attempted to pull Finnick from him but he was in such a fit of rage he managed to stave them off. He was, after all, their superior now.

“Finnick! No!” 

Katniss was breathless and screaming to him from the door. The sound of the panic in her voice finally made him stop his attack. He caught his breath, hardly able to see, fists bloody and aching. The man below him was still for a moment and as Finnick stood, Johanna pulled him away from the center of the room.

“Calm the fuck down Odair, this is what he wants. You can’t kill him.”

There was laughter. Sneering, sickly laughter. The man in purple spit out a tooth and laughed.

“You listen to her now. When she tells you no. That’s ironic. I remember her begging you to stop and you just wouldn’t would you. I loved every second. The Mockingjay. It really is a shame I never had a go at her. Maybe it’s not too late....” the man’s voice was perverse and bizarre. His Capitol accent covered only by his cough and shortness of breath. Finnick looked over Johanna’s shoulder to see the man eyeing Katniss in the doorway.

“C’mere, sweet little Mockingjay, let me show you how a real man feels....” 

Finnick was still holding the bloody arrow. He shoved Johanna aside so hard that she fell.

“Don’t you even fucking look at her.” He hissed at the crumpled pile of what used to be a man on the floor before driving the arrow right into his throat. Killing him immediately.

Finnick was sitting on the dead body of this stranger who meant more to him than anyone else in the room, even Katniss, realized. He couldn’t move or think. Covered in blood and gore that he couldn’t even identify the owner of anymore. He hands throbbed.

“Well that’s fucking great, Odair, now we will learn nothing from him. Fucking fuck!” Johanna was hissing at him from the floor.

“He wouldn’t have told us anything.” Finnick’s voice was low, barely audible. Katniss stared at him in disbelief from the door. He finally stood, again aware of the acute and horrific pain in his back as he stumbled towards her, not looking as he passed her. Leaving her alone with an equally puzzled Johanna...

“What in the actual fuck was that?”


	4. Chapter 4

“Did you know him?” Johanna asked suspiciously and it kicked Katniss back on her heels.

She didn’t. But she did. She knew where Finnick had seen him from the things he said. Which meant that even though she hadn’t ever seen him before. She knew him.

“No.”

“Ok sure. Sure. Let’s just start making shit up now.” Johanna started to give her grief until she saw her lose her balance on her feet, “hey....you ok?”

Katniss was staving off a panic attack.

“I need to get above ground I can’t breathe down here. Help?”

She reached for Johanna who practically lunged at her to help.

“Fuck. Right. I’m sorry.”

The two exited the room, clinging to each other. Surrounded by the bustle of soldiers and guards running to make sense of all that had happened.

“I want to get upstairs fast. I can’t let Mags see him like that.”

Johanna hustled to the elevator, reminding Katniss to breathe and guiding her even as her eyes were closed. Johanna knew this place like the back of her hand and it was helpful to say the least.

They ascended in an elevator quickly and as soon as the door opened Katniss breathed like she had been underwater. They lurched out in the the Victor’s Chambers, still bustling with guards and soldiers, doing security checks, locking things down. Katniss saw Peeta sitting against the wall, resting on the floor, lost. She moved to him and knelt beside him, drawing his gaze.

“Peeta. Are you ok?” She asked, looking him over. He nodded quietly, just in shock.

“Why are you out here? I can help you to your room.” Peeta looked towards the door.

“Annie is in there. She snapped, Katniss. Screaming, crying. They sedated her and locked her down in there.”

Katniss’ heart pounded. Did Finnick know?

“Did you see Finnick?” She asked cautiously. He pointed down the hall towards their quarters. 

“Katniss what happened?” His voice was frail. Afraid.

“I don’t know.” Katniss motioned to Johanna who took her place by Peeta as she eased down the hall. Regaining her bearings and feeling the rising sting of a headache. As she entered the door she saw Haymitch, Mags in tow, and they were singing. Safe and singing. She began crying immediately. Running to them and closing into them both. She covered Mags in kisses and tears eliciting giggles from the tickled girl. Haymitch closed around her tight. Glad more than ever to see her alive and unharmed. 

“We were just on our way to see Effie and get something good to eat, weren’t we sweetheart?” 

“Sweeeeeeeeets!” Mags shouted and Haymitch laughed. He kept singing and dancing as they walked down the hall and Katniss knew it was to distract her from the chaos.

“I love you!” Katniss shouted after them through tears.

Haymitch stopped and turned back to her. 

“We love you, too. Be careful.”

Katniss slowed her steps into her quarters, trying to steel herself. It seemed relatively untouched, but down the hallway she saw piles of bloodied clothes. Boots, grey pants, a grey jacket. A bloodied trident leaned on the wall which was also smeared with bloody prints.

She heard water running in the bathroom and eased the door open. More blood, but it was empty. At least it seemed empty. The deep tub was filling quickly, steam billowing from the water.

Katniss easier closer to the tub and saw Finnick. Completely submerged, sinking into the water with his eyes closed. The water was pink from the blood that had covered him. She felt her eyes pool and then overflow, holding her breath as she waited for him to surface.

She saw bubbles rising from his nose and slowly he rose out of the water. His face still red, a few scrapes on his face oozing his own blood. He kept his eyes closed for a moment still unaware that she was there. As he opened them they still didn’t focus on her. She knelt beside the tub, trailing her fingers in the water.

“Hi...” she whispered, and he turned to her.

“Hi” he answered, struggling to find his voice. 

“What can I do?” She whispered to him, pushing some wet hair from his forehead. He winced as her fingers pushed over a bump there. 

“I think I must have headbutt that piece of shit.” He whispered. Not an ounce of regret or remorse.

“Good.” She calmly answered him. His eyes widened at her response.

“You...did you...recognize him?” 

“No” she let the idea leave his mind as soon as it had entered it, “but I know why you did and I’m glad you killed him.”

He didn’t know whether to appreciate the sentiment or be frightened by it. He had lost control.

“Are you ok?” He asked her, lifting a hand from the water to touch her face. And she was. Completely unscathed other than a headache. Mostly because he had launched himself onto her at the first sign of distress.

“I am. It’s different for me here. I don’t...I don’t know this place like you do. This was never my prison.”

She watched him rest his head back and look around the room. 

“He wasn’t the first one.” He whispered lowly to her, like he was letting her in on a secret he couldn’t bear to keep. He puzzled her.

“Wasn’t the first one...what?” she inquired. He sat up, closer to her, like saying it out loud was too much for him. 

“Yesterday night, I was walking the halls. Just...acclimating myself. There was a maid...someone working in the stairwell. I recognized her. She’s a refugee now but she wasn’t....she was someone....” his voice trailed and she knew what he meant. Her eyes lowered at the idea that even three years later the Capitol would be crawling with people who were former lovers of his. And not lovers the way she may find herself jealous of Annie...or an ex girlfriend...an old flame. No. People that had paid money to use his body and wreck his mind. And it seemed like they were everywhere.

“I don’t know what I can do. If I snap again like I did today...and Paylor is gone....I don’t think I’m the right person for this job.”

Katniss bit her lip. Lost in thought and trying to give the best advice she could muster.

She sat on the side of the tub and grabbed a washcloth, trying to busy her hands to clear her clouded mind. She touched the too-hot water and ran the washcloth over his face where it bled. He watched her eyes.

“You’re wrong. You’re the only person for this job. What you did today? Yes, Paylor is gone. But you saw a threat no one else would have and you saved how many other lives. We were all down at your command. Those seconds mattered today. They could matter again. We talk to Beetee, start with a list of people living and working in the mansion. Photos. You identify the ones you know to be truly loyal to Snow and we flush them out.”

The plan rolled off her tongue effortlessly like she had been planning it for weeks. Would he resent her for making him use his pain to keep them all safe? Would he agree that, just like his wealth of secrets, he could turn the horrific things they had done to him into yet another win for the very people setting out to take them down?

Finnick nodded and pressed his torn cheek into the wash cloth. 

Katniss washed his body slowly, cleaning blood from his knuckles and fingernails as they sat in silence for a long while, only the gentle splashing of water between them.

When they were as clean as they could get, they dressed and left their room to assess the damages. It seemed they had found evidence that the attack was meant to take out Paylor and she was, in fact, the only casualty...save a few people trampled to death in the plaza below.

Beetee apologized profusely for being so blindsided by the attack, but no one questioned his allegiance since he had been just as vulnerable as the rest of them.

Finnick suggested that they run new perimeter checks and demanded an updated register of anyone with access to the mansion and its grounds.

Plutarch immediately produced a holoscope with a working list.

“We need pictures,” Katniss interjected, taking Finnick’s hand reassuringly. 

“Pictures. I’ll work on it. You’ll have it tomorrow.”

“Why?” Peeta asked from a wheelchair behind them, moving to try to stand and not seeming himself. The Victors, all but Haymitch, had gathered to be told about the day’s report and the ideas for moving forward safely. But no one expected Peeta to intervene. 

“Finnick knew the Capitol. He may be our best chance at finding some moles here in the mansion. He recognized the man in the city circle today.” Katniss offered hoping that would be enough. It wasn’t. 

“Oh right. Finnick knows the Capitol. Intimately. So if we aren’t going to let people in that Finnick Odair has fucked, who will be left? Do we kick Katniss out, too?”

Everyone turned on him, unable to process his words. Johanna stepped towards him first. Putting herself between Peeta and Katniss. 

“He doesn’t know what he is saying,” Johanna put a hand to Katniss and Finnick before turning back to Peeta, “but he should shut the fuck up anyway. Or I’ll take him out myself.” 

Peeta sneered like he was fighting with himself. But then his eyes fell on Katniss. Sadly, pleadingly.

“Katniss he doesn’t know how to love you. It’s...it’s an act...it’s what they made him to do...” his eyes drifted to Finnick, “it’s not your fault. But you...you could never deserve her now.”

“Looks like someone is jealous Finnick didn’t fuck him. Get him the fuck out of here. Now.” Johanna motioned for a guard to remove him.

The guard gently pushed Peeta into his wheelchair and Johanna went about cuffing his wrists to it.

“Katniss, please. You know I’m right. Look what he’s done to you. Getting you pregnant and then leaving to go play house on the beach with Annie for three years? We raised Mags. We did that.”

“Get him out!!” Katniss shouted over him, desperate for the sound of his voice to stop when it dawned on her: maybe Peeta wasn’t hijacked to kill her. Maybe he was hijacked to torture Finnick. And if that was the case...what did that mean for Annie?

There was a long silence that everyone wanted to break but no one dared. Finnick fought to file away the verbal onslaught and remind himself that it wasn’t Peeta.

“Well,” Effie, having only just reentered the room with a tray of pastries, was unable to stand it anymore, “I for one am not on that list. Although...”

“You’re not helping.” Katniss stopped her abruptly. Plutarch closed the holo and told Finnick he would bring him a new one by dinner. Beetee set off to run down new security measures with the staff in the meantime, assuring that the building was on lock down. There would have to be a service for Paylor, but everyone agreed it would be better to wait until they knew it would be safe.

The Victor’s all mourned in their own ways...weighing confusion over the events of the day but also reeling in the notion that they had only just arrived the day before and there had already been an attack. They struggled to feel safe but knew that this was as safe a place as any. They just knew the danger now.

Soon, all that was left were Finnick and Katniss. She took a piece of some kind of cake from the tray Effie had left and bit a piece before offering a bit to Finnick, who was lost looking out the window. He politely declined.

“Don’t let him get into your mind, Finn. That’s what they want.....” she knew he was lost thinking of the things Peeta had said.

“Don’t let him get in yours either.” He whispered.

He turned to face her.

“I need to tell you something and I don’t want you to argue. Or question. Promise?”

He pleaded with her and she wanted to scream. It felt unfair. But after too long a pause she nodded.

“When Plutarch brings me the holo...I don’t want you there. I want to do it myself.”

Damn him for making her promise. She couldn’t question but she knew his motives.

She simply nodded even if she hated herself for it. Haymitch entered the room and Mags called for her parents, running towards them. Katniss picked her up as Finnick placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head. 

Mags wanted to go outside.

Finnick wanted to swim.

Katniss wanted to hunt.

But for now...they were trapped inside. A kind of prison-like arena not one of them knew anything about.


	5. Chapter 5

Once they knew the mansion had been scrubbed down for threats, and any remainders of the day’s events had been purged from it’s halls, Katniss and Finnick took Mags on a tour of at least their floor. Letting her bounce in and out of rooms, play in couches, meet new people, visit the kitchen, press elevator buttons. Some of these things she had never seen. And while their instinct was to shut her in the safe room and keep her there, seeing her energy fill the place reminded them that they couldn’t contain her forever.

Katniss and Finnick held hands and walked behind her quietly and she bounced down the hallway, trying to be inspired and comforted by the only person in the mansion who wasn’t being tortured by it. 

Mags rounded a long hallway before they could and there was a giant crash of glass and silver. Katniss and Finnick picked up speed and turned the corner quickly after her to find her face to face with a kitchen worker who had previously been carrying a tray of silver and flutes meant to set the table for dinner. Katniss knelt to make sure Mags hadn’t been hurt or cut while Finnick set about helping to pick up the giant spill of knives, forks and spoons. He was intent on his work when the woman in the kitchen uniform grabbed his wrist. He paused before looking up at her.

It was the same woman he had passed in the hallway the day before, and if he wasn’t sure then if she remembered him...he was sure now by the look on her face.

_I have seen some pretty fucked up things during my time in the Capitol but this one is equal parts fucked up and sad. I’m trying to slip in and out of this poor woman while her husband is feet away watching us. And their dialogue back and forth let’s me know that he wants permission to have sex with anyone he’d like to, so...to make it fair, he’s going to buy me anytime she feels like she needs to get off - so he doesn’t have to do it. He’s asking me if I can get it up since his wife is so boring it won’t be fun for me at all. He’s telling her he doesn’t love her. That she’s probably the worst even I have been with. I’m watching her face as I fuck her and for the first time in awhile, I feel like she might just have it worse than me._

_“Maybe you want to leave...I think this would be much easier for both of us if you just stepped out.”_

_I’m trying not to get aggressive with this prick because I know he’s the one with the arrangement with Snow and this could get much worse for me._

_But come on._

_He stands like he is throwing a fucking temper tantrum and leaves the room, slamming the door shut._

_I look down at the woman under me and I can tell she can’t believe I had the stones to make him leave._

_“Thank you,” she whispers, “I’m sorry.”_

_It looks like she might cry and I wouldn’t blame her but now here I am fucking her and wondering if that’s what she even wants._

_“What would....what do you want?”_

_I ask her between breaths. She tells me that she wants me to make love to her gently, like I love her, to whisper things to her, to touch her softly._

_So I do. And it’s sad._

_It’s not like I haven’t done it this way before and the truth is it’s a really nice departure from the base and sadistic things most of these Capitol mutts seem to associate with sex._

_She comes several times, I hold her while she cries, try to tell that everything will be ok and wonder if this won’t be the last time I see her. She apologizes for what they do to me, and I leave quietly feeling strangely justified that for the first time in a long time something I did actually helped someone other than Snow._

“Thank you,” she whispered, “I’m sorry.” Words he had heard her say before. He is glad to hear Mags tottering off unaffected and hoping Katniss is out of earshot as well. 

“It’s...it’s ok...” he answered, hoping to just be addressing the mess on the floor, but she tightened her grip on his wrist and pulled his focus intently back to her. 

“I know what they did to you after you stood up for me. He told me. He has them beat you. And there is talk in the kitchen that you are going to have everyone that helped Snow in the Capitol killed. You should. You should kill me.” 

She was spitting whispered words and Finnick pulled his wrist from her, suddenly aware that Katniss was standing over his shoulder, listening. 

“No one is having anyone killed. We need to restrict access to Capitol...the mansion...to anyone who may still have allegiance to Snow. Somehow, I don’t think that’s you...” 

She is willing back tears and shaking her head quickly. 

“No. No it’s not me. It’s never been me. I hate him for what he’s done....” 

“Good.” Finnick has all but abandoned picking up the mess and is just studying her. 

“My husband...he was in Snow’s cabinet. He was the reason they beat you. When he told Snow you had defied him that night, he said to teach you a lesson. He’s a horrible man. The day the Capitol fell they went underground. His cabinet. He left me to fend for myself. I haven’t seen or heard from him. But I may know where they are....” 

Her voice became fragile, whispered and weak. Finnick leaned to her taking the silverware from her hands as she still collected it. 

“If you can help us...we can protect you.” 

She smiled even as her eyes remained scared. Katniss knelt beside Finnick and started to pick up broken glass, gently smiling at this broken woman. 

“I’m sorry...for what they did to you.” She whispered to Katniss before picking up the last of the silver, loading it onto a tray and hurriedly walking back to the kitchen. 

Katniss and Finnick both knelt in the hall surrounded by broken glass which was quickly swept up by a crew of housekeepers who descended on them. 

Katniss stood way too fast and the stress of the day and her equilibrium threw her off just enough that she felt sick. Finnick noticed her close her mouth and clench her gut as the color drained from her. He pulled her aside quickly, grabbing a bag from one of the maids making short work of the glass and she lurched into it several times. He rubbed her back gently as she threw up, watching Mags dancing on a couch in the great room and hoping no one else had been close enough to hear the prior conversation or Katniss getting violently sick from it. 

“I’m sorry...” he whispered as she calmed down, catching her breath. She wiped her mouth, and they stood staring at each other, both embarrassed by different things. 

“For what,” she asked him with genuine concern, “for taking a beating to save someone else from having to? What did we say about apologizing...” 

He nodded. His apology was that she had to just listen to him engage someone he had been intimate with...and maybe not in the horrible way she had imagined they all went down. 

“Finnick.” Plutarch called to him from behind and they turned to see him twisting the holo in his hand. The long day was about to get longer. Johanna walked beside him. 

“I have an updated photo registry of just about every refugee that stayed in The Capitol. We update it regularly. But this is about as current as we have. Including everyone up to your friend from the basement today. Or, what’s left of him. That was a pretty impressive display.” 

He held it out to Finnick who asked if there was a room they could use, and Plutarch pointed down the opposing hallway to what used to be the cabinet’s chambers. Finnick nodded and turned to Katniss. 

“It won’t be long...” 

Katniss was still fighting the urge to feel angry that he wouldn’t let her go with him. But she had promised. She eyed Johanna, hands in her pockets and shaking nervously. 

“Wait...Johanna is going with you?” 

There was an uneasy silence as what was a little bit of resentment on Katniss’ part rose up to a little bit of jealousy and hurt. 

“I think I can pick out some of these fuckers, too. End this. So we can get back to our lives. Such as they are.” 

Katniss eyed her, wanting to believe her but also wondering where this genius idea had been for three years. She grit her teeth and nodded slightly, eyeing Finnick. His eyes were apologetic but unwavering. 

“Fine, I’m gonna go check on Peeta” she watched him as she offered this idea, wondering if she said it just to hurt him back. 

“Not alone you aren’t...” Finnick countered. 

“Haymitch is there. I think they are both pretty subdued. It should be...ok.” 

Johanna defended her decision swiftly, and Finnick wanted to fight her on it, but they both had their own battles to wage. Mags came galloping over....Effie trailing behind her slightly, looking...nervous. 

“Effie said I can play with her pink hair! Can I go??” Mags was positively glowing and even in the tense moment it was hard not to laugh at her...and the obvious distress it was causing Effie. Katniss nodded yes slowly. 

“Well...won’t this be...fun. We will be very very careful though won’t we, Mags. Wigs get harder and harder to come by.....” Effies voice trailed off as she followed Mags down the hall to her chambers. 

“I’ll see you at dinner.” Finnick took Katniss’ hand firmly. Trying to reassure her. 

Watching the three of them head off together did very little for her queasiness. 

She watched as they ducked into a meeting room, Johanna and Finnick talking quietly as they followed Plutarch and the door shut behind them. 

It felt like hours. 

Plutarch flashed video files of every single citizen of The Capitol that had been a resident under Snow’s regime. A refugee. Special attention paid to those who had specific ties to Snow, but even Plutarch was alarmed by how many of them that Finnick identified as threats. Sometimes the holo would open a photo and it would take Finnick a minute to speak: sometimes he would recognize them right away, sometimes he would have immediate memories of something specific, sometimes he would look away immediately. Those were usually the ones that Plutarch flagged for expulsion with no further questions. 

“We don’t have to do this all now. You’ve had a fucking hell of a day. If you want to take a break from looking at these pricks we can. Just say the word.” Johanna had, in fact, just gone along for moral support. Thanks to Finnick, she was never forced to experience any of them the way he had. 

After an hour or so even Plutarch could tell it was taking a toll on Finnick. When the image of the husband of the kitchen worker came up, Finnick immediately identified him as a threat. And when her picture came up next, Finnick filled Plutarch in on their discussion...making him promise to protect her in exchange for any intel she may be able to provide. 

Several profiles later was a large snarling man who couldn’t even look cordial in a formal Capitol headshot. 

“Jesus, would you look at this asshole....” 

Johanna’s stomach was turning but not as much as Finick’s. He cleared his throat uncomfortably and stood from the table. As if he needed to put distance between himself and even the image of this...man. 

“If he’s still alive, I don’t want him exiled. I want him killed.” 

There was nothing familiar in Finnick’s voice and it chilled Johanna. 

“I think that’s enough of the trip down memory lane for today, don’t you?” 

Johanna asked quietly as Plutarch nodded and shut the holo down. She crossed to Finnick and put a hand on his back. He flinched. 

“Hey. This is over. Enough. They aren’t doing this bullshit to you anymore.” 

He was about to protest when they were al shaken to the core by a noise that seemed to come from everywhere. 

There was a scream. Not words at first. Just a shrill, animalistic sound. Finnick and Johanna sprung to the door and flung it open. The scream was continuous. They fought to figure out who it was coming from and where. It was gutteral. Maybe more than one voice. And then it turned into a name... 

“FINNICCCCKKKKKKKK......” 

_It was Katniss._


	6. Chapter 6

Finnick moved desperately down the hallway in a way his body hadn’t moved since the arena. So fast the he had no idea if Johanna was following him or not and definitely no idea that Plutarch was already calling for help. 

He knew where she was and the anger ran up the back of his spine that whatever was happening to her to illicit that sound was coming from Peeta...under Haymitch’s watch. 

When he got to the entrance of the room they had been keeping Peeta and Annie in, Haymitch was crumpled in the floor, across the hall, as if he had been thrown there.

“Haymitch!!” Johanna screamed his name but Finnick couldn’t be bothered. Johanna started about searching Haymitch’s pockets desperately to find the shot that would put Peeta under. And quick.

But when Finnick rounded the room, Peeta was curled in fetal position just inside the door, his head bloody.

“Finnick! I tried! Help her!” He shouted through sobs pointing further into the apartment as Finnick realized he was unarmed. Her cries had stopped and turned to muffled moans that were coming from behind a closed door. Finnick threw himself into it hard. Screaming as he was sure he felt his back snap. But he did it again and this time the door flung open. In the middle of what looked like a padded room, were Katniss and...Annie. 

There was blood. The otherwise white room was stained with it. And Annie was straddling Katniss, her hands around her neck as Katniss kicked her legs furiously. Finnick lunged across the room like he was diving into water and caught Annie’s upper body. Pulling her to the side. She screamed like a wounded animal and shook him off. Annie mounted Katniss and Finnick noticed she had a small shard of glass in her hand. He grabbed for it. Screaming as it sliced his palm, and then shaking it from her hands before he pulled her arms behind her and restrained her.

Annie flailed wildly in his grip as a weak Katniss fought to break free from under them. Finnick screamed for Johanna. He noticed the halter for Katniss knife around her thigh but it was empty. He didn’t know if he’d be able to use it on Annie even if he had it. 

“Johanna!!” He yelled again frantically and finally she appeared, wielding the syringe she had lifted from a passed out Haymitch. She sunk it dutifully into Annie’s neck as she hissed and within seconds she was limp in Finnick’s arms. Finnick fought to catch his breath but he couldn’t take the time to make sure Annie was ok. He had found Katniss’ knife: it was lodged into her side.

Peeta made his way to the door and yelped as Finnick moved his hands over Katniss’ side to stop the bleeding.

“Peeta we need a medical team now. NOW!”

“We can take her to the lab....” Johanna started, dragging an unconscious Annie off of her.

“No,” Finnick shouted, “Paylor bled out on the way down. We don’t have time. And I can’t...I can’t carry her.” Johanna noticed the pain in his voice and how he was practically falling into her. His back.

He tore his shirt over his head, wincing, and then grasped it with his teeth, tearing it into shreds.

“Finnick...” Katniss whispered unable to focus but knowing he was there. Her voice was pained and it was only then Finnick noticed the slice to her throat as well.

“Oh God...” he whispered to himself as he tore his shirt into as many pieces as he could. He wrapped her neck first. Trying desperately to stop the bleeding.

“Finn....” she was almost inaudible now.

He left the knife in her side, knowing that pulling it from her would cause too much blood loss, but he wrapped a tourniquet around her ribs hoping to stabilize her. He leaned over her and pushed the hair from her face as her eyes flickered wildly at the ceiling.

“I’m here. Stay with me...”

He held her, his hands bloody on her as he body sunk into a state of no longer fighting. Johanna descended on her too, putting pressure on her wounds. 

In minutes the medical team came and pulled her swiftly from them...immediately hooking up IVs and administering medication. Johanna and Finnick slumped to the floor, trying to make sense of what happened. Other guards came and removed both Annie and Peeta. But the damage was done. Johanna, who was not one to show emotion, started weeping openly.

“When is this going to be over??” She screamed. Crying, drooling. 

“I thought you’d be safe here. I thought this would help. We are all so fucked.”

Finnick collapsed against the back wall and fought to stay conscious through his pain so he could get to wherever they had taken Katniss and hope to God that she was alright. Because he had promised to burn the Capitol to the ground and he was about to.


	7. Chapter 7

Finnick woke up in the bed of his new accommodations in the Presidential Mansion unable to feel much below his neck. His heart raced at the panic of it before Johanna put her hand on his chest.

“Hey slow down there, rock star, it’s temporary. They did a little work on your back while you were out. It’ll wear off.”

Finnick didn’t even remember passing out after they took Katniss to medical, but he had. 

“Where is she?” He whispered, hoarse.

“Which she? Your list of ‘she’s to worry about grows by the minute, Odair....” 

He scowled, but was relieved by her candor. It mean things had to be ok. Johanna rolled her eyes, knowing that obviously he meant Katniss.

“Mags is safe. She’s staying with Effie, soooooo worst case scenario she will come back with no eyebrows and orange hair but she will be FABULOUS. Katniss is recovering next door. By the time you can feel your nether regions again she should be awake.”

Finnick moved to sit up and Johanna pushed him back.

“Take it easy. Slip that back out again and your humping days are over.”

He sighed. 

“Annie...”

“Plutarch took them below. I guess they have been working on some serum using tracker jacket venom. He thinks they may be able to help get them back.”

Finnick nodded. Unable to shake the image of her attacking Katniss. Of the fear in her eyes. It wasn’t Annie. Just like it wasn’t Peeta.

“Where are they keeping him. Snow....”

Johanna fidgeted and laughed to herself as she rocked back in her seat.

“I know you won’t believe this but they won’t fucking tell me. They’re afraid I’d kill him. And they aren’t wrong.”

“Why did they keep him alive? Why not just kill him?” He asked, never doubting Paylor’s motives until coming face to face with this underground allegiance to him.

“They think they can still get information from him. That there are pods and underground lairs only he knows about. From what I hear they are basically keeping him alive. And that’s why there’s been this sudden resurgence from his people. Maybe he is close to finally biting the big one and they want to spring him before he does.”

Finnick was trying to take her words and piece them together. Maybe this meant that there wasn’t a mass underground resistance and rather just a small group of loyalists hell bent on freeing their savior.

Finnick drifted in and out of sleep as the effects of his morphling took over. And when he finally woke enough to try to move again he had regained feeling in his body...although a tiny section of his lower back was still numb. And Johanna was gone. 

He gently eased himself to his feet and pulled his IV loose. He was careful to move slow to not draw any attention but once he was in the hallway several people moved to him. He brushed them off and assured them he felt fine, he just needed to see her. One of the nurses had moved behind him and was touching his back before giving him the go ahead to keep walking. 

When he turned the corner into her room he could see that she was flanked by Haymitch and Johanna, but she was unconscious. Obviously from the morphling being pumped into her. Finnick slowly walked to her bedside, watching the machines that were working to keep her comfortable. Haymitch and Johanna felt him enter and without speaking left him alone with her, gently sliding the door closed behind them. Finnick eased into the seat that Haymitch had been in, and leaned in to take her hand. He squeezed it tight and looked over the bindings on her neck. Nothing bloodied, nothing bruised. Whatever they had done to help her heal was working.

“Hi...” he whispered, and felt her hand tighten in his. Her lips curled lightly and mouthed his name.

“H....hi.....” she whispered, her eyes fluttering open and turning to him. He smiled. Trying hard to put her at ease. She reached up and touched his cheek, he pressed his face into her palm and she stroked his skin. His brow furrowed slightly and she noticed it.

“Is Mags alright?” She whispered. Still barely able to make sounds.

“She’s fine. She’s with Effie. She doesn’t know anything. How do you feel? Your side? Your neck?” 

She stretched slightly, testing her body. But pleasantly surprised.

“I feel sick. I’m sure it’s this,” she said..tapping her IV, “but they think I’ll heal fine. Annie...she’s...stronger than she looks.”

Finnick fought back the visions of her attack and tried to keep her talking to him. He needed her voice.

“Well, she had a pretty incredible mentor, you know?”

“I do know” she smiled back at him.

“How did it go for you today? Since my meeting with Peeta obviously went to hell in a hand basket...” she was finding her voice and her sense of humor all at once.

Finnick wasn’t in a big hurry to revisit it.

“It went well. I think we made a good start.”

“How many?” She whispered, pulling his hand. He wasn’t sure which question he was asking. And he didn’t know how to answer either one.

“A lot.”

She took his answer. Realizing in his tone that he wasn’t in the mood to be pushed. They sat for a moment and she winced as she tried to move in her bed. Finnick moved from his seat and slipped into the bed with her. He thread his arm under her neck, pulling her into his side. She nuzzled into his chest and inhaled deeply at his scent. Their breath rising and falling together. 

There was a tap at the door, and it slid open before they could acknowledge it.

Plutarch slipped in. Johanna, Haymitch, Beetee and a slug of medical personnel. Finnick sat up in bed, only slightly. Katniss was still stiff around the neck so she raised her head as much as she could before her nurse eased her back to a laying position. 

Plutarch smiled genuinely, sitting at the edge of the bed, almost giggling.

“I mean, I don’t know why we didn’t bring some cameras down here because if this doesn’t look like the Capitol Christmas card I don’t know what does. Right down to the matching hospital gowns.”

Johanna smacked him in the back of the head gently, rolling her eyes.

“And how is everyone feeling? We look well.” The nurse commented, poking, prodding, attaching and detaching.

“Never better.” Finnick answered.

“God, can you knock off the Prince Charming act for even two seconds? Christ.” Johanna never missed an open window.

“And you, Miss Everdeen? How do you feel?”

Katniss inhaled as she stretched again.

“Well I mean. For being stabbed several times I think I’m doing ok. The morphling just makes me nauseous.”

The nurse, along with the other gathered company, all smiled and chuckled to different degrees. 

“It’s not the morphling,” Haymitch offered, and there was a strange, palpable tension in the room. Haymitch stuttered and muttered and tripped over some words.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, you’re pregnant. Which should come as a surprise to no one...because, well...look at them.”

Johanna.

Finnick and Katniss sat perfectly still. Stunned. Unsure if Johanna was even telling the truth. But the grin on Plutarch’s face was the first tip that maybe...there was truth to it. The nurse smiled, too, as she thumbed through a screen of medical information.

“Indeed. Now it’s very early. In fact if we hadn’t had to do a blood draw and abdominal x-ray for your wounds we would never have known so soon. But everything is looking just fine. Of course, we will need you to rest and be very cautious, but everything looks just fine. Congratulations.”

The nurse unhooked several machines and their whirring bring silenced left the room feeling vacant. She wheeled a cart of medicine out as well. Katniss was staring at Finnick and he didn’t even realize it. He finally turned to her unsure of what to even feel, but encouraged by the fact that a small smile was spreading over Katniss’ mouth.

“So. This is great news. But it’s about to get better.” Plutarch thought about letting them enjoy this moment but he was too excited to wait.

Finnick reached up and touched Katniss’ cheek as he soundlessly mouthed the words _I love you_

“We’ve been working on some experimental serums. Ways to use that tracker jacket venom to, well, unhijack. And we’ve had a break through. A diluted formula that, when introduced into the central nervous system in a controlled environment...accompanied by memories...we can basically make them disappear.”

Johanna and Haymitch studied the reactions of their fellow victors, knowing that this was completely overwhelming information.

“We can make it all disappear,” Haymitch offered, “bring Annie and Peeta back to normal. And I don’t just mean how they were three years ago. I mean we erase it all. Bring them back to how they really were. Before the games. And, well, we can do it for you, too. Take all this pain and bullshit. Erase it.”

There was another long silence. You could hear a pin drop. The idea of erasing the painful past of any tribute had it’s perks but Plutarch didn’t really know what he was asking of them.

There was more muted, smaller discussion as one by one the group of them dispersed. Leaving Finnick and Katniss in bed together. 

Tired.   
Sore.   
Confused.  
Overwhelmed.

And...pregnant.

Finnick slid down into the bed and pulled the sheet around them, Katniss’ glassy eyes looking over his sea green ones. She pressed herself against him afraid to look away.

“Are you happy? Right now?” She whispered to him as he grinned. He bit his lower lip and raised his hand gently to her belly, running his hand over the hospital gown there. 

“I am. Are you?”

Katniss let her eyes water and spill gently as she nodded yes, before tucking herself into the warmth of his chest. She kissed him gently there.

And for a couple uninterrupted hours, before the reality of their situation came knocking, they slept tangled up in each other...content with their new secret and welcoming a blanket of rest.


	8. Chapter 8

“It can’t be you, you know that right?”

Katniss’ voice had an air that was equal parts begging and demanding. 

Plutarch has continued to push the idea of what he was now calling “Memory Re-Tracking.” In the days that followed Annie’s attack on Katniss two things had become clear: it was more important than ever to figure out how to undo the effects of the tracker jacker venom on Annie and Peeta or they would have to live out the rest of their days in a prison. Figurative and literal. And there was more and more uneasiness with the reminding Victors about the idea of basically reprogramming someone’s memories. Even if it was for a good cause.

And when Plutarch suggested they test the effects on someone who was stronger minded first, there was even more discussion about the potential threats it could cause.

And Katniss was right. Finnick thought he should do it.

“Finn...it cannot be you. Not now.”

He was quiet to her requests and it all at once terrified and infuriated her.

She walked towards him, her hand on her belly as if to remind him that he owed it to her to be there for her this time.

“Finnick. Look at me,” she closed the space between him and he honored her request, “What if they erase me from your mind. Mags. You’d lose us both. And we would lose you. I am telling you no. You’re not doing that to us. Not unless you want to sit her down and tell her it’s more important to you to save Annie than it is to be in her life.”

Katniss’ words stung and she hated to say them, but she knew she was going to have to play dirty to keep Finnick Odair from trying to single handedly save the world.

“Ok.”

He finally acknowledged her and smiled faintly knowing he was giving her what she wanted. 

“I just keep thinking this is a bad idea in general. What keeps us from becoming Snow with that kind of power. Playing God. I don’t like it.”

But the fact remained that they had to help Annie and Peeta. Not just to save everyone else, but because they owed it to them. Finnick continued with the other side of the coin...

“But we can’t leave them trapped in their own minds.”

There was a knock at the door. Katniss, still moving slowly, moved to open it. 

Johanna.

“Mom...Dad...mind if I come in?” She teased through a snarl as she already started walking past Katniss.

“So listen I’m going to cut right through the bullshit. It’s gonna be me. Tonight. Plutarch’s gonna, you know, have his doctors have a go at me.”

Katniss and Finnick stood stunned by her declaration.

“Don’t you think we should all talk this one through?” Finnick injected softly, unsure of how he felt about her decision. She laughed.

“Oh Jesus, why? Our council? So we can all decide things that I should get to decide myself?? So you can volunteer because you’re too good a guy to let me risk my life? C’mon, Odair. You know me better than that. I have nothing to lose.”

Her confidence shook as she said his name. Her lower lip quivered as she approached him.

“You’d lose me.” He whispered to her and she uncharacteristically reached to touch his face. Only for a moment before she pinched and shook his cheek, shaking off the threat of real emotion.

“You’re right, I’ll miss this handsome face. But I’ll still see you. Just maybe not without all the bullshit involved.” 

Finnick was becoming more and more upset, steeling himself against it, but unable to.

“It wasn’t all bullshit.”

Johanna turned from him to look at Katniss. Who was also fighting back tears and unable to figure out what to say. Johanna sat on the coffee table facing her.

“And you, Girl on Fire. I’ll miss hating you. But maybe it will be fun to get to know you as myself,” she shook off another pang of fear and apprehension, “I can’t do it anymore Katniss. I see my family burning alive. Every night. They can take that away.”

Katniss couldn’t argue. She had spent the last few nights laying awake wondering about all the things she could forget: Rue, Cato, Wiress, Mags, Cinna, and Prim. But they would be gone from her mind, too. Not just their deaths. Them. It was like killing them all over again.

But Johanna was different.

“Haymitch,” Finnick called from behind her, “he’s got as much to gain and...not lose....”

“No. He’s too important to Mags I’m not letting him do that.” Johanna interrupted him fiercely.

“You’re important to her, too” said Katniss, finally finding her voice. Standing sharply even if it hurt, “you’re our family, too.”

Johanna smiled, shaking her head. 

“Family.”

She whispered it, and turned to Finnick.

“Then promise to adopt the new me. Ok? Hopefully she’s not as much of a fucking drag.”

With no thought about what it would look like Johanna crossed to Finnick and kissed him, too deeply, on the lips.

“God I’ve always wanted to do that.”

She threw a a middle finger in the air at both of them and walked out, shutting the door.

_I’d be lying if I said Johanna Mason didn’t scare the shit out of me. I had seen my share of Tributes doing crazy shit. I’d done a good share of it myself. But she was pretty fucked up._

_Although, like the rest of us, how much of that was real and how much of that was created was a mystery. But I’m going to try. Like I have with all the other ruined Victors trying to adjust to their new way of life._

_But hers was...bad._

_I knock on the door to her room and it just swings open, it’s not even latched. And it looks like a wild animal has attacked it. Furniture literally shredded, clothes and food and bottles everywhere, and an axe hanging straight from the ceiling where it’s lodged. I’m surprised they let her keep it because she’d be a sure bet to just off herself. We’ve all tried one way or another._

_I’m calling to her as I tiptoe through broken glass and literal trash until I see her sitting and staring out the window to the Capitol. Stark naked and talking to herself._

_This is going to be harder than I thought._

_“Hey Jo, it’s Finnick Odair. I’m just gonna grab a blanket and help you warm up a little bit ok? Soooooo I’ll be coming up behind you and I’m not gonna hurt you...” I keep talking the whole time so she knows where I am and I also get poised as I’m pretty sure at any minute she’s going to try to kill me._

_She doesn’t. So I lay the heavy blanket I found on the floor over her shoulders and sit next to her with my knees up just like she is, but she is rocking and trembling and mumbling....and shit, this bad._

_“Finnick Odair, Capitol playboy. Everyone’s favorite tribute. Goldenboy. Lover, fighter, hero, savior. And you’re just as fucked as the rest of us.” She’s whispering about me and still staring out the window like I’m not there. It doesn’t matter if I am or not._

_“They’re sending me home, Finnick Odair. Isn’t that nice?! I get to just go home?! I don’t have to stay here and get them off the way you do!? They are so good to me. The Capitol. President Snow. I’m just so happy to be alive and serving the Capitol! So lucky!!”_

_She finally turns to me flatly and asks me how she is doing, if she is faking it well enough for them. They are sending her home to a world they destroyed for her. There’s nothing there. They are sending her as a punishment and she knows it._

_She’s crying now. Mouth open and full of saliva, struggling to try to make sense of things the way we have and without knowing what else to do I’m pulling her into my side. I hold her tight and she accepts it so I place my other arm gently around her and hold her while she cries. Trying to hush her but all at once wanting her to let it go._

_“How do you do it? How do we survive this? They took everything. We watched them. They made us watch. My family. I want you to kill me. I tried. I can’t do it. Please.”_

_She’s begging me to kill her and it’s not the first time someone has. I remember being her. And Mags was me. Trying to convince me it was worth it to hang on. So I use Mags’ words._

_“You have a new family now. Look, every single one of us has suffered in ways we can’t even describe. But we have each other. That’s how we hold on. There’s power there. And year after year there are more of us. Maybe someday. We fight back.”_

_Her weeping stops and she raises her tear stained face to me._

_“Do you really believe that?”_

_I don’t answer because the truth is I don’t know. I’m stuck in my own nightmare and there hasn’t been a silver lining or an end in sight yet. But if I can help her, maybe it’ll help me, too._

_“I’m sorry I couldn’t do more. I tried, I need you to know I tried.”_

_I have her lost face in my hands and suddenly I’m making it about me. She’s staring at me and I see anger and then remembering and then sadness._

_“You can’t help me when you need just as much saving as I do. You didn’t do this. They did. Just like they fucking do it to you. Night after night after night. We can’t win.”_

_She’s not wrong. I’ve spent the better part of my life since the games learning that the hard way._

_“Alright. Then at least we get each other through this fucking mess. You’re strong. Don’t let them convince you otherwise.” I whisper to her still holding her face._

_“And you’re a hero. Don’t you let them convince you otherwise, either. Even if you wont kill me.”_

_She half smiles and I return it._

_“Nah, I think there’s a lot more I need to know about Johanna Mason before I decide to kill her. Stick with me, and...if it doesn’t get better....we can kill each other off. It’ll be good for ratings. Ok.”_

_She sinks back into my side, still crying but complacent. I have a feeling that I just made my third friend._

Finnick and Katniss watched as she left, powerless to stop her and unsure of what she’s even actually agreed to do. For them. For all of them.


	9. Chapter 9

The day turned quickly into night and the remaining members of the Victor’s Council had agreed to meet in the lab at 8:00pm just after dinner. Katniss spent the day resting and Finnick spent the day (gently) visiting with Mags. She asked for her mom but they had all decided that until Katniss was healed and unbandaged, she would stay in Effie’s care. Finnick noticed that she already smelled faintly of cotton candy and had to recall Johanna’s comments about what time with Effie might entail for her.

Just before eight, Finnick and Katniss suited up in their grey military issues...less to fall into the fold and more to remind the fold that in Paylor’s absence, they were in charge.

They descended uneasily to the underground level that housed the medical facility. Katniss took his hand just before the door opened. She tried to breathe out the fear of the underground.

“You ok?” She whispered. He didn’t answer but turned and smiled at her, squeezing her hand. As they entered the hallway they saw Haymitch gathered with some doctors, he turned and moved to meet them in the hallway.

“Where is she? Is she here yet?” Finnick asked, reading an apprehensive look on Haymitch’s face.

“Promise not to hit me?” He asked them quietly, mostly concerned about Finnick. He stunk of booze. Finnick scowled and Katniss muttered.

“She went under about two hours ago. Plutarch and his team are just about done. She worried that if you were here she would change her mind or you’d change it for her.”

“God damnit, Johanna,” Finnick spoke under his breath running his hands through his hair, “I should have known she’d pull something. Was anyone even with her?”

“I was with her. She was good, Finnick. She was ready. It was what she wanted.” Katniss put her hand on his back knowing this would be harder for him than her. But he turned to her worried that she was needing the support.

“Let’s sit you down.” He guided Katniss into a chair in the hallway and she couldn’t deny that sitting made her feel so much better. She still had medicine coursing through her and she remembered from when she carried Mags that she was exhausted every waking second.

He sat by her side and they all rested for what felt like hours. Finally Plutarch appeared from the room. Smiling.

This was good.

“Finnick?” He motioned for Finnick to join him and he didn’t have to ask twice as he was already making his way toward him even before he called his name.

Katniss and Haymitch watched as the two men shared whispers and nods. Katniss felt ill. She didn’t know if she was ready to stand and face it yet.

Finnick walked slowly into her room. Johanna Mason was just starting to come out of her anesthesia and already Finnick knew that something was different. She wasn’t wailing. Flailing. Arguing. She was calm, almost peaceful.

“Hey...” he sat down and slowly drew her attention. Plutarch had instructed him to let her guide the conversation.

“Hi. You’re....you’re Finnick Odair. From District 4. Why are you here?”

Finnick’s heart sank slightly.

“I’m a good friend of yours. Plutarch told me that he brought you here to live in The Capitol from District 7.”

She nodded, confused but agreeable.

“Yes. They rescued several people like me. People with no families.”

Finnick felt the bottom of his stomach drop and he had to know the extent of this new Johanna.

“That’s...that’s right. I’m sorry about your family.”

“I lost them when I was very young. I never knew them. But thank you.”

Her family was gone. Her pain was gone. But so was any memory of them. It made him shudder.

“You have a family. Are they here with you now? In the Capitol and not in Four?”

Finnick nodded unsure of how to answer.

“Yes. Katniss...Mags. But you’re part of my family, too. Did they tell you that?”

She frowned and pondered his response.

“No. But I feel like maybe you’re right.”

He smiled and nodded, taking her hand. He held it for a moment before Plutarch reappeared and suggested that she get some rest. She bid Finnick goodbye and asked if he would be back. She smiled weakly as he noticed the nurse turn the dial on her medicine to help her to sleep.

Finnick left the room quickly, intent on Haymitch and Katniss who stood up to meet him. Plutarch followed hastily, anxious for Finnick’s approval.

“Well?” Katniss asked. But she could tell from his expression that he was not ok.

“That’s not fucking Johanna,” he spun to face Plutarch, “this can’t be what she wanted. It’s not her.” 

Plutarch shrugged cautiously and handed Finnick a piece of paper. He recognized her handwriting. 

**A bulleted list:**

*** Erase the Hunger Games  
* Erase my family  
* Erase Snow  
* Remember Odair  
* Destroy serum after it helps Annie and Peeta. **

“She made me promise these terms would stand. We destroy the lab and all the remnants of reprogramming once we figure out how to use it to help our hijacked Victors. That’s it. It’s what she wanted, Finnick. It’s harder on us than it is on her, I assure you.”

Finnick nodded. Katniss took his arm and turned her towards him. She was questioning him with her eyes and he knew what she was asking.

Annie and Peeta. Was this the right thing to do?

“How much can you fine tune this? Take certain things and leave others?” Finnick quizzed him.

Plutarch nodded. 

“Johanna was a good test subject. She wanted it all gone. We’d have to look at Annie and Peeta as individual cases, with your and Katniss’ help of course. You can think about it. Let’s see how the next few days play out for Johanna. Peeta and Annie are just fine. They are safe. There’s no rush. In the meantime we go about collecting some of your...friends.”

“Finn, I need to lay down.”

Katniss interrupted the weight of it all and she meant it. Although it was largely to get them out of this conversation. His friends? Fuck you, Plutarch. 

So much had already happened. So much was about to. And they were both recovering.

He turned to her and nodded, offering her his arm as they excused themselves. They walked together slowly in silence back to their room. Finnick stopped at Effie’s to tuck Mags in while Katniss headed to bed.

She washed her face. Tied back her short hair. Took her clothes off and stared at her naked form in the mirror. Studying it. It had to be in her mind but she felt like she could already see a swelling in her belly. She rested her hands there. She looked at her face, in the eyes in her reflection. The bandages on her neck and side. She thought of the pain they hid and the chance she had to forget it. 

She heard Finnick enter the room with a heave, locking and double locking the doors. He turned the corner into the bathroom quickly, undoing the buttons on his jacket and tossing it aside before pulling his shirt over his shoulders. He closed in behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his hands on hers. He gently kissed the bandage on her neck and she leaned into him. Fighting back tears she knew were a direct result of the stress and hormonal imbalance. She cried a lot when she was pregnant with Mags. But mostly for him. And now...he was there.

“What are you thinking?” He asked her, meeting her gaze in the mirror. She didn’t know how to answer.

“I’m thinking I wonder what it would be like. If the pain was gone. If...the nightmares were gone....if”

“Our first night here.” He interrupted her. She knew exactly what night he meant and she hadn’t wanted to say it out loud but she had thought it, “it’s the only thing I wish I could forget. I don’t want to lose Mags. The rest of it....but....”

She spun in his arms until her naked body was twisted up entirely in his arms.

“All the other nights, Finnick, all the torture. The beatings, the deals....what if he can take it from you....” she ran her fingers over his forehead and he closed his eyes.

“No none of it was worse than that night. None of it.”

She felt his arms go slack and he slumped slightly out of sadness and frustration.

“No. We survived that together. We beat them that night. Together. We might not even be here together if that hadn’t happened. It was horrible. But I wouldn’t undo it for a minute and neither should you.”

She loved the way they had managed to figure out ways to pass strength back and forth when they needed to.

“Besides. Johanna took the guess work out of it for us, didn’t she?” 

He nodded and pressed his face into the side of her neck, inhaling her sharply and subtly. She trailed her fingers down his back and felt the patch of gauze protecting incisions they had made.

“Finn?”

He lifted his eyes to meet her.

“I know I have zero business asking this...,” he played at her hair and watched her eyes as she spoke, “I’d rather start making good memories than worry about undoing bad ones. Replace them that way.”

She was running her fingers through the hair over his ears and studying it, her voice full of longing for him. He closed his eyes and reveled in it for a moment.

“Is that even safe? I mean....” he was going to have to learn how to adapt to her being pregnant, since of the two of them...it was a first for him. She smiled coyly at him, rubbing his back.

“I think we both need to take it easy, don’t you?,” she whispered in his ear as she pressed into him, burying her face in his chest, “make it go away, Finn....please....”

If Finnick Odair had learned one thing from Katniss Everdeen it was that making love to her could be a place to run away to...not to run away from. He took her hand and walked her towards their room, shutting the lights off as he did. Double checking the door. She noticed he had already done that when he came in. It was things like that that belied his calm and cool demeanor.

She turned back the covers as he flicked off the light by their bed, slipping in next to her and easing out of his pants.

“What do you want, Finnick?”

“You mean right now?”

He smiled wickedly.

“No. What do you want. In life. Johanna picked the things she wanted and the things she didn’t. What do you want?”

He took in her question and thought long and hard before answering.

“I want to sail. With you, Mags...this guy...” 

He touched her stomach and she caught his hand.

“Wait so you think it’s a boy...” she smiled teasingly.

“Oh yeah. It’s a boy. I mean, it better be. I can’t be that outnumbered, I’ll never survive....”

She punched him gently as he smiled.

“I want us to sail. Stop where we want...when we want...how we want. Not worry about everyone else for a change. Just...go. I can’t stay here. It’s suffocating.”

She nodded.

Suffocating.

The way she felt underground is the way he felt landlocked. It wasn’t just the Capitol. 

“And what do you want right now?” She cooed at him, already knowing the answer, and throwing her leg up and gently over his waist. He met it with his arm and pulled it closer to his hip...moving just the slightest bit to gently ease up inside of her. She bit her lip at the slight, sweet sting of it as he nuzzled into her shoulder. Burying himself there. They held each other tightly, side by side, easily rocking together until they both climaxed together...but even that was quiet. He kissed her mouth gently as it happened, tightening their grip on each other and letting their breath slowly return. 

They fell asleep that way. Finnick drifted off first, still inside of her. She pawed his hair and stared at the ceiling. Remembering the first time he had made love to her in the Capitol and fallen asleep the same satiated way.

She smiled as she let sleep wash over her, sure that this time he would be there when she woke. That he would be there from now on when she woke. 

They both slipped into a peaceful sleep and dreams of the sea meeting the sky as they sailed towards it...replacing the nightmares they were finally ready to leave behind.

On their own terms. Together.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Epilogue

Finnick and Katniss stayed in the Capitol for three months following Johanna’s treatment, a treatment that proved successful for Annie and Peeta as well.

In fact, it was those three surviving Victors and their innate quest for peace that took over Capitol rule, and finally...truly...brought peace to Panem.

With Finnick’s help, the remaining loyalists to the dying regime were snuffed out, and Coriolanus Snow died in an underground cell, suffocating in his own blood.

Plutarch did as promised and destroyed the lab, taking with it not only the serum but any and all mutation experiments that had been studied as well.

Effie and Haymitch returned to District 12, as a couple, and worked to be the representatives from that District on the new Panem Council...restoring it to what it once was. (Fountain and all.)

Finnick spent a good deal of his three months in the Capitol studying medicine and learning from some of the healers there. So when the time came, and with the blessing of the council...He, Katniss and Mags returned briefly to District 4 before taking to the sea on the boat that would become their home. They returned to both of their home districts frequently, as well as at the Capitol...but the majority of their lives was spent free on the water. Docking at islands where they had set up rations and shelters. It was in one of those that Finnick put his medical training to use...delivering their son, Cinna, who was the opposite of his sister’s combination of her parents: a boy with deep coal gray eyes and an uncontrollable mop of bronze hair...right from birth.

They raised both of their children with a love and respect of both land and sea, to not be afraid to be strong, and to take care of their family always. Not just the four of them, but the family that had bonds they would never understand, that helped them to become the children that would be the new face of a truly free Panem.  
  


⛵️💙🏹

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. I hope you enjoyed this alternate ending and rocky little roller coaster. Your reward for making it to the end:
> 
> https://ibb.co/yQBN8bx
> 
> Peace, love and may the odds be ever in your favor.


End file.
